Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
