How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
