You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize