Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
