: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
