Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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