We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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