I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
