haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
two words...techno handjob
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
