it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
