I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
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