quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i love accidental penises.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
