She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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