there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
