Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
