dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
