if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
