I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
