in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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