We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
