I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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