Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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