toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
