peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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