I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
