So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
