I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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