Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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