ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
