Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
