I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
