Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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