the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
