go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
