he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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