I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
