I have demons in me.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
