I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
