Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize