He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
