I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
accomplished twins. life is a go
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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