Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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