i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
