I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
