Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
