I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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