Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
