you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
