And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
