Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
