she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
