I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
