he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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