just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
