im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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