Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How external is "for external use only"?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
