i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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