I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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