We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
