I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
