haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
