He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize