yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
