apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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