my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
